Conflict

Written by J.D. Willetts, Ph.D. and published on 21-May-2009.

Conflict has always been a part of the human experience. When confronted with their original disobedience, Adam and Eve argued over whom was at greatest fault.

Cain and Able disagreed on the best form of sacrifice to offer to God. When God agreed with Able, Cain resolved the conflict by murdering his brother. This is not the way that God wants us to resolve conflict. A better example can be seen if we look at how Abigail handled her conflictual situation.

Abigail and her husband, Nabal, lived in the Desert of Maon at Carmel. David was on the run hiding from King Saul who wanted to kill him. David and his men spent time near Nabal’s land and protected them from outside threats. David sent an envoy to Nabal to request some provisions in return for the good treatment he had given them. Nabal was surly and insulting to David’s men and refused any help. David, in his anger, assembled about 400 of his men to go and kill Nabal and all of his male servants.

Abigail, when she heard about the conflict, exercised a number of good conflict resolution principles. She was proactive and wasted no time sending provisions to David to make restitution for the insults her husband had delivered. She went out herself to personally meet with David and apologize for the mistreatment he had received. Although she did not participate in the wrong doing, as a responsible person, she took ownership of the conflict and did not make excuses. She was humble in her approach to David which appeased his anger.

As a result of her good conflict skills, she saved her husband, her land and her servants. After her husband died, she became David’s wife. You see, by learning some good conflict management skills, you could end up married to royalty!