Self Talk for Parents

Written by Judith Willetts, Ph.D. and published on 21-May-2009.

These are some things to think about when your 18-month-old has a temper tantrum in public, when your five-year-old throws a rock which requires the recipient to have stitches, when your ten-year-old lies to his teacher, or when your fifteen-year-old runs away.

Children are a blessing. Psalm 127:5 states, "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." They are a gift from God with potential to provide more joy and more pain than any other relationship.

God hasn’t given me more than I can handle. He will always give me the patience, strength and wisdom I need to handle my children. I just have to ask.

Of course my children are going to misbehave. Children naturally struggle with being selfish. They want things their way. They also have very limited understanding of the consequences for their actions.

It’s my job to train them. Children do not develop empathy, morals and good decision-making in a vacuum. They depend on me to teach them through modeling, conversation, and consequences.

I probably have contributed to their negative behaviors. They have seen my own failings, which they are imitating. They haven’t always been the beneficiary of wisely applied correction.

I can’t take this personally. They are not just acting out to hurt or anger me. What they are doing is based on a combination of factors. My personal reaction will get in the way of my being able to react calmly and objectively.